--> Though our lifestyles and methods in which we raise our children may differ, there is one thing we can certainly agree on: we all want the best for our kids. We all want to raise successful children, and how we define that very word, [success], may vary as well. So how can we be certain that our children are headed down the right path, the path that will lead to a bright future?
--> Well, since I am not a perfect parent, I'm not going to pretend I have all the answers. There are days that I feel frustrated with my kids and frustrated with myself in how I had handled things. But ultimately, I carry-on confidently, because I trust and rely on these few truths:
1) These are not just MY (or OUR) kids. They belong to the Lord. They are His children. He loves them more than I do. I CANNOT raise these kids alone or alone with my spouse. I/we need the wisdom, guidance, and leading of the Holy Spirit. Several times daily, I need to ask God, "How do you want me to handle this situation?"
2) God has entrusted these children to me specifically, whether I gave birth to them, adopted them, or they are in my care for a shorter-term. He knew it all along and has placed them in my life for a period of time determined only by him. Not only has he placed them in my life, but he has equipped me to influence them, teach them, raise them, lead them, and love them in a way that is unique to who he created me to be! So I am not going to compare myself to the other moms, who seemingly have it more together/better/easier than me. I'm not going to compare my children to other kids. I'm not going to adopt a parenting-style that fits in a box defined by the latest parenting books, trends, or ideas. And lastly, I am not going to measure my kids' success by the world's standards, but by knowing and showing them that they have a greater purpose in this life. I love what Craig Groeschel says: "We are called by God to unleash single-minded, Christ-centered, biblically-anchored, world changers." This means that as I raise my kids (and live my own life) I know that we have a greater purpose than just getting a good education in school, getting a good-paying job, buying the perfect house, creating a name/reputation for ourselves, taking the best vacations, and so on. Not that those things don't have great value, but I believe that compared to knowing Christ and living a life FULLY in and for him, the rest is meaningless. That's right, meaningless. I believe it is so important that Christian parents know and exemplify this. Without Christ at the center of all we do and all we are, we fall short of the greatness and purpose that he has for each of us.
3) I am going to pray for these kids until I see my prayers answered. Also, I am going to pray for myself and my spouse. And when I pray, I am not going to pray for MY will to be done, but for GOD'S will to be done, in my life and in my kids' lives. I am going to pray for things that can't be answered or fulfilled by mom or dad, but prayers that really take an act of God to accomplish. I'm going to pray that He places in them a desire to know Jesus and to know the Word of God. I'm going to pray that they desire righteousness and honesty. I'm going to pray that they have kind, repentant, teachable hearts. I'm going to pray that they impact their friends and those around them in a way that pleases our heavenly Father. Those are just a few examples of things that I pray. And I don't pray them just once. I pray them OFTEN. I pray for them aloud for my kids to hear, and I pray for them privately and with more details.
4) I have to set the example. The thing I've been most moved by and challenged with, is BEING a parent who leads with integrity. I can't just talk about it--I have to do it. If I want my kids to develop good character, I have to be demonstrating that consistently--not just telling them how they should be and what they should/shouldn't do. Kids learn far more from whatever example we are putting on display, and it's important that a strong foundation is built in the early years, if possible, because the older our kids get, the greater the amount of people influencing them will be. They need to learn and see in us good ethics, righteousness, honesty, faithfulness, kindness, forgiveness, perseverance, acceptance, repentance, etc., because more often than not, good character & character-development isn't being taught or displayed in the entities around us as well as it ought. And these character attributes don't happen overnight, by the way. I am still a work-in-progress! Guess what, our behavior is a choice, but our motivation comes from our heart. Our intentions for behavior-modification will only come from a renewed Spirit. I have to surrender my own way to His way, every hour of every day. I don't have to, but it works out a LOT better when I do, so that's what I aim for. That's what we all should aim for.
--> Being a parent should be a huge wake-up call, because now, not only am I responsible for my own actions and life, but I have children in my life who I am responsible for and actually will be judged for. It can feel a little overwhelming. (Is that an oxymoron? Let's face it, there's nothing little about being overwhelmed!) It can look like a long road to the presumed light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel. It can seem impossible to survive whatever parenting phase you or I are in. We can be stubborn and selfish and not even desire the things we should as Christian parents. But thankfully, God is an unrelenting, loving, forgiving God, ready to extend grace for the moment you or I are in. He is pursuing us, and bringing us back to him. And all it takes is a moment in which we pause, connect with Him, and surrender. Ask for his help, and then follow the lead. Successful parenting can be reduced to perpetual prayer, giving up, and allowing God to do His thing!
What do you find the hardest about parenting? What have been some of your parenting wins? We all want to successfully raise successful kids. So let's learn from the hard times and celebrate the good times! Here's to you, mama/papa!
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