Winter Blues

This has been a hard winter for me. Matt and I would love to move south, except we don't want to live away from our family. (Hint, hint, family!) Last year we couldn't afford to take a vacation and this year is the year we are getting out of debt, so we have chosen to put all extra money toward making larger monthly payments instead of taking a vacation. So here we are, stuck in the cold, cold, freezer we call Michigan, with no chance of even visiting someplace warmer.

I actually haven't been as affected by SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) as I was anticipating. I think it helps having kids in the house and not being alone when Matt goes to work. But there are still very unpleasant, tiring parts of winter that I am just... done with.

I want to be able to take my kids outside to play (in a decent temperature, not negative ten). I want to take a day off and go to the beach. I want to go for walks and runs, and get back into shape. I want to go to the farmer's market and buy fresh and locally grown produce. I want to not worry about bringing extra shoes/boots, a coat, gloves, and a hat everywhere I go. There are so many extra steps you have to take in winter. And I'm TIRED of it!

It's true--I have the blues right now. Every time I stand by the door before going outside I think to myself, "Do I really have to leave? Is this necessary?" But I suppose I can't call in because I have a case of "I don't like winter."

This winter has been so long, so cold, and so persistent, that I am starting to doubt that spring will ever come!

But alas, it will. A new chapter will open. Life and new growth will sprout, the sun will shine, and once again, people will come out of their houses and explore the great outdoors. And I will be a much happier camper. And hopefully I will be a camping happy camper!

So I'm done with my rant about disliking winter.  Can you relate, or are you one who truly loves this season?

A New Year (2014)

What a wild year it has been! Okay, maybe not 'wild', but definitely eventful for the Walkers! We did not send out a family photo/card this year. So here are some snips from the past year...

2014 Family Recaps (in no particular order)

We had a lovely visit from our former exchange student, Bea, in July/August. It was so good to see her! 

We had our second child, Ephraim, in May. And what a GOOD baby he has been. Thank you, Lord!

Our oldest, Cali, turned two. I can't even explain how bright, sweet, spunky, and delightful she is. 

Matt took on a third part-time job, which has been a huge blessing, financially speaking.

In June Matt and I celebrated my 30th in Chicago.

I began leading worship once a month in our "big" church. (Normally I'm on the other end of the building with the little ones!)

We are focusing on paying off debt. Our washing machine broke, so we bought a new one on credit and just paid that off! We decided to hand-make many of our Christmas gifts this year to cut back on spending. It was really fun putting the time and thought into each person's gift! 

I (Tori) have learned how to make some more dishes (meals). Most of them are vegan/vegetarian and involve fresh ingredients. It's been fun--I actually enjoy it. I think I'm getting good at it too(but you can ask Matt). I still am a big failure when it comes to making cookies! 

No vacation this year. But we did travel to Tennessee to visit my dad & his wife. That was nice to have that time with them. It's not fun living so far away from loved ones.

I (Tori) have begun writing music after a nearly one-year hiatus. (Is 'hiatus' the right word?!) I miss having an outlet for creativity. I have hopes of writing and recording more, especially as the kids grow older. 

Matt went to Passion in 2013 in Atlanta, and I get to go this year (2014)! 

My sister had a baby and made me a proud Aunt! I love it. I'm going to spoil that baby.

Those are basically the highlights. Here's to another good year, wherever The Lord may take us...

Blessings! 

Summer 2013

JULY 2, 2013

I cannot believe that June has come and gone! It is now July, and we are finalizing our 4th of July plans. It will be fun bringing Cali to see fireworks this year! I realize it has been a while since I've updated my blog, so I have some big things to write about...

BABY BOY IS HERE!

We finally decided on a name, the day after he was born. And it wasn't the one we thought we were going to go with. Ephraim Gilbert Walker was born just after midnight, May 25, 2013, at 12:16am. He weighed 8lbs 15oz and measured 20in long. Here are the more graphic details... if you can't stomach it, then I suggest you skip the rest of this paragraph! I went in on the 24th at 6pm and was dilated to 4cm. I decided to try to deliver with no drugs (no epidural) and do it as "naturally" as I could. It was WAY more painful that way, and I wanted to give up in the moment and just have them cut the baby out of me around 11:00pm that night. I had tested positive for "group strep b", which is no big deal, except I had to have to injections of antibiotic that last for a half hour each, and had to be given 4 hours apart from one another. So the second one was administered at 11:15pm. So at 11:45pm I was finally able to start pushing. The baby came out all in one final push... head and shoulders all at one time, so that was sorta cool! I had a small tear, which I am not recovered from. All in all, MUCH more painful than my first, but a much better delivery and recovery! Ephraim, pronounced [f-rum], is a really good baby. He doesn't cry much at all, and sleeps well, getting up at night at most 3 times to feed & goes right back to sleep. He is breastfed and all seems to be going well. God has blessed us and we are very thankful for everything He has done for us. 

Cali is now 21 months old and just loves her little brother! She is very "helpful" and enjoys giving him his passy when he cries. Every once in a while she asks to hold him, and it's just adorable! 

As if that wasn't enough excitement for one month, my sister had her first baby and made me an AUNT!! I am so excited! Reed Amon Schuiteboer was born 3 weeks and 2 days later (June 17), the day before Rachel & Rusty's anniversary! Rachel allowed me to be in the room when she gave birth, which was a surreal experience. I had never witnessed a baby being born (other than my 2, which is a totally different experience). I was/am thankful she let me be a part of that process. I am so proud of her and Rusty and know they are and will be great parents! This will be really fun watching these two boys grow up together and be tortured by their mothers who will want to dress them in matching clothes all the time. :)

GETTING OLDER

This June I turned another year older. This was a big one... it was the year I turned "29 again." I wanted a big celebration. I love to party with lots of loved ones around... but the timing just wasn't good for many people. So Matt and I went to Chicago and enjoyed the city last weekend. Our wonderful parents were able to watch the kids while we were gone. They really are the best!!

I really loved being in my twenties. It was a growing, at times tough, at times awesome decade, and I really was not prepared to leave it and enter a new one. But, I have come to understand that numbers to not determine one's age. I still have lots of learning, growing, and maturing to do! So I'll rest in that truth to keep me feeling young! 

I am on maternity leave for another few weeks. My dad is in town to visit his new grandkids. It's been great to see him! Our former exchange student, Bea, will be here in a few weeks to visit. I'm looking forward to catching up with her! Summer is not really summer yet, as the temps here in west Michigan are more like a good spring than a summer. That is sort of a bummer to me, as we didn't get away and travel south this past year, as we normally do. So I am hopefully anticipating some hot days ahead. 

Well that's all for now. Time to put my daughter to bed. Feel free to comment below! Thanks for reading. Enjoy the pictures. I hope you and your family are doing well! Take care!

2013 Update

Well, it is now January of 2013. The world didn't end in 2012 as the Mayans predicted. I have seen countless jokes about that on many social media sites! 

FAMILY LIFE

Our baby girl is now 16 months, and I am 20 or more weeks pregnant with a baby boy on the way, due May 29. Cali is amazing, and really makes me enjoy being a mother! She is so active, and is just now discovering that she can make really high-pitched noises. Yay for me. So I now have to balance allowing her to discover and explore all while teaching her that it's not always good to make those noises... especially in public! She has a contagious laugh, and a smile that melts your heart. I'm sure most parents think that about their kids, but it's so true. I love it when Matt, Cali, and I sit on the living room floor and just laugh at whatever is going on. She is able to repeat most words that we say, some of her favorites being cracker, backpack, sock, bubbles, and more. 

With only 4 months to go, Matt and I are struggling with settling on a boy name. If it turns out that this baby is a girl, we'll be set with the name. We have asked for suggestions on boy names. With the good, comes the bad. People feel they can tell us what not to name our baby. I don't care if 100 other babies were just named something, if I like that name, I will use it. So I ask you to only say positive things, please. We do have a private list of names we are making, but at this rate, I'm not ready to share any of them! We are praying that God just gives us a name that is easy for us both to decide on. 

Matt and I will be celebrating 6 years of marriage this May. Since we didn't do anything big for "#5", we may try to get away this time. Any affordable suggestions?

WORK LIFE

I am working at the church as the Children's Director. It has been a year now and I absolutely love it. I love the volunteers I work with, the staff I work with, and the children that I see on a regular basis. I have been volunteering in youth ministry helping Matt out with the worship arts ministry. He enjoys that as he continues to teach percussion lessons at Marshall. 

OTHER

God has been teaching me a lot over the last year. I feel I have grown a lot closer to him and have been challenged in many ways. The Passion conference is always a flame-igniter. Matt and I both went to it last year. This year he went with a group, and I stayed home with the baby. I listened to all the main sessions through the website's live-stream, though. I don't have things figured out. I'm just trying to make good choices by being obedient to God. I am trusting him as we continue on this adventure!

The Secret

Finding Out You Are Pregnant

The first few weeks are the worst. Because it’s too early to tell anyone, so you have to keep it a secret. But some of the side effects make it quite difficult at times. The nausea, the heightened sense of smell, the frequent trips to the restroom, and the constant tiredness make being secretive a tricky talent.

If you were to speak up and say anything about anything, your friends and family and those close to you might likely ask in a half-joking manor, “are you pregnant?” And you don’t want to lie, but this is not the way you wanted to inform them of your exciting news, so you either pause awkwardly, which usually gives it away, you lie, or you tell them.  Perhaps you just shouldn’t speak up! But it is hard not to at times, especially if you are one who is used to speaking how you feel or talking about new things in your life. And then, if you try to avoid it in conversation, it’s still in the back of your head. And if anyone looks at you for too long, you start to make an uncomfortable smile, like they know. And then it’s all down hill! (Okay, not really, but the secret is probably out at that point!)

Making it through the first few weeks (2-10) is the toughest. But once you are willing to share the news, what a weight that is lifted! You can now explain why someone’s pot-roast lunch, which normally you would do anything for, is making you leave the room. Or why you just can’t eat as much in one setting. Aha! The news is out! Now people won’t think you are going through a crazy distant phase in your life. Sure, they might be afraid of the pregnant version of you, but hey, at least they’ve been warned, right?

Months 1 & 2

It was a rough adjustment at times for the first few weeks that Cali was here. She is now finally on a sleeping schedule as of October 30! It's not a great one, but she is mostly sleeping 4-5 hours during the night, so it makes it possible to function in the morning now! 


Cali is absolutely adorable. I know every parent thinks that of their children, but it's so true! She makes great eye contact now. We have a few "games" that we play: one game involves Cali turning her head all the way to the left, then once you look at or talk to her, she turns it all the way to the right; then left, then right, and so on. It is hilarious! I love it. The other game she plays is "the balloon game" - doesn't sound so safe, does it? Haha, it is totally safe though. We watch very closely - but we put the ribbon in her hand and she tugs on the balloon. Again, her eyes go up and down with the balloon. I didn't realize that 8 week old babies could see so well, but she enjoys watching it! 


Those are the simple smiling moments that Matt and I enjoy so dearly. 


I have started working at church this week. I have missed the students and adult volunteers so much! It's great to be back. I have also started subbing. We are thankful for our wonderful family who is able to watch Cali right now when we are busy. We would be so lost without our family! God blessed us (and continues to) with amazing people in our lives. 


That's about all that's going on right now. We are looking forward to the holiday season and seeing all our family and friends. Does anyone have any fun holiday plans or decorating ideas they would like to share?!? I would love for you to add your comments below! 

BABY is HERE!

Well, if you haven't heard the news, then this post will surely update you. Feel free to skip ahead to the segments that sound more interesting to you...

FACTS

Name: Calista Anne Walker; A.K.A. Cali

Location: Borgess Hospital

Time Born: 3:21am 

Date Born: Friday, September 16, 2011 (same day as my grandma Sharon's birthday!)

Weight: 8lbs 3oz

Height/Length: 21"

Breastfeeding or Bottles: Breastfeeding

Other: Born a healthy baby with lots of dark brown hair. What a gorgeous little doll! 

LABOR/DELIVERY
Matt and I went to the hospital on Wednesday for a scheduled induction at 12:00pm. My natural contractions were too close, so they couldn't actually induce me until after 2:00pm, once they had slowed down. I was hooked up to a monitor that measured the baby's heart beat along with any contractions that occurred. Well, after lying in a bed until 9:00pm that night, they decided that I wasn't going into labor anytime soon, so they sent us home. On that ride home, I began to feel very painful contractions and was worried that "real" labor might start soon, so before we even got home, we drove back to the hospital (9:20pm) and they hooked me back up to the monitor. After lying in bed until 1:30am and contractions not feeling as painful, they decided that nothing was happening, so they sent me home again. I tried to lay in bed and get some sleep, but contractions began to get PAINFUL and I just couldn't fall asleep. After a few hours at home, my water broke (that was a fun mess that we had to clean up days later), so before just returning to the hospital, we called and confirmed that it was a good decision. So, there we were, at Borgess, contractions feeling more and more painful. During that day (Thursday) my contractions became so painful that I decided an epidural would help me out. (Epidural was AWFUL at first... no fun.) It did relieve the contraction pain, but I was still able to feel pain/pressure in my vaginal area. By Thursday night, I was given a small dosage of pitocin. Soon I began pushing. After about 2.5 hours, and barely being able to see the baby's head during the pushes, my midwife consented with the doctor on staff and decided that at this point, my options were to have a c-section or to try "sucking" the baby out with a "vacuum". I chose the vacuum. I had one chance left to push using the vacuum as an aide to get the baby to come out. I pushed as hard as I could, (and I had an episiotomy), and surprisingly, the baby came out! What a miracle! I was shocked- I thought I'd have to have a c-section. The feelings after that immediately overwhelmed me. What a surreal moment. Matt was there by my side the whole time. He was awesome & got me through it all. There were so many people who were praying (even in the middle of the night) and I am so thankful for that! Calista was born at 3:21am Friday morning. 




HOSPITAL
I had a midwife get me through everything, until the vacuum came out. Theresa Newberry and Dr. Thome delivered Cali. Theresa is amazing. She is the best midwife out there. I would recommend her to anyone, hands down! 
Matt, Cali, and I stayed at Borgess until Sunday, when we were released to go home. It was so wonderful having so many friends and family come in to visit. We are blessed in so many ways, and the people who surround us are the biggest blessing of all! We love you all so much, and are thankful for your love, support, & prayers. 
Borgess is great. I would also recommend them to anyone getting ready to have a baby. 




ARRIVING HOME
Well, let the transition begin! We have been at home for 2 days/night now (as I write this), and it has been a constant learning experience. Cali is adjusting to us, and we are adjusting to her, and it's wild and crazy and wonderful. My mom and Matt's mom have stayed with us, helping out with food, cleaning, and "night duty", allowing us to get a little bit of sleep. They are AMAZING! 
Matt, Cali, & I have all been sleeping in the living room, until I heal up and am no longer too sore to walk up the stairs to our bedroom. I am thinking a few more days and I will be ready to return to my comfy bed and put Cali in her special baby room. 


We took Cali to her pediatrician today for a check-up/well-baby visit. Everything seems to be fine. The doctor gave me some good advice to help with sleeping, my breastfeeding, and my diet (as Cali was having lots of gas). So I will be trying to stay away from things such as apples, green beans, pasta, and other things that may bother her. 


There is so much to think about now, being a parent, and breastfeeding a baby. I have SO much love for her and am totally in love with this baby. Matt is an amazing husband, and Cali is a wonderful daughter, and I couldn't serve a greater God. I am so thankful. 




VISITING
We would love to see you and allow you to visit Calista. PLEASE just call or text to let us know when you would like to come. That way we can make sure we are at home, feeling well, and not sleeping. Also, if you are sick, please give it some time before coming to visit. We don't want our precious baby exposed to anything at such a young age. Thank you for understanding. Give a call/text, and we'll see you then!